Perspective

It’s another sleep deprived morning.  I am still not used to the early morning wake up call to get my ninth grader to the bus leaving the house at an ungodly hour.  It’s only week three,  I’m still hoping for a carpool or just maybe, I can get used to this routine…we’ll see….I can’t complain to my daughter who feels her job as a student is far tougher than my cushy job “playing” with kids all day as a therapist.  Maybe she’s right.  I do have probably the best job in the world.  But, we can talk therapy on another  day.

Today I am thinking about perspective.  What do we really want for our kids?  Raising toddlers and preschoolers is one thing, but having a teen never ceases to be a humbling experience.  This teen stuff is completely uncharted territory for me.  As parents of young children we focus so much on the skills our children need to succeed in school.  Parents of teens still care about school success, but the stakes keep getting higher as we try to guide them for success in life.  Did I say guide?  That term may be a stretch, because teens don’t really like to be guided, because after all they know better.  At least I think this is true, it couldn’t just be me, could it?  Make that self-doubt with a little paranoia thrown in…

So, I worry.  Not really for any good reason.  But, because that is something I am really good at.

And, then a baby comes over the house for a visit.  My daughter goes over to the baby and is just so sweet with her.  That’s the daughter I know, sweet and loving.  The baby proves that sweetness and loving is still there.

And then, never being one to not have a sense of humor, she says to me, repeating a website she had recently seen:

“No Matter how old your are, no matter how badass you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it”.

Yup, that’s what it’s about.  

Going Beyond the ABC's for School Readiness

I had a few extra minutes this morning (thank goodness!) and sat down to drink my coffee in front of the TV. What a luxury! I'm usually one to go straight to my recordings, my ADD kicks in with all those commercials, but today I decided to watch Good Morning America. Cookie monster was on the screen and they were talking about the next season of "Sesame Street". At first, I was attracted to the familiarity of cookie monster, but then the content was really interesting and like always, it brought me back to Tips and Toys.

As per usual, I tuned in just as the segment was coming to an end. The spokeswoman was talking about how important the skills gained from watching "Sesame Street" are for school readiness. So what do we need for school readiness? If my child knows his ABC's, is he ready? Should she be able to count to 10? I heard my friends kid was already reading some words, is my kid behind because he's not doing that? He doesn't hold his pencil right. Should he be able to write his name? All these and so many more questions run through parents minds every day. And yes, these questions are very important and ones that I will talk about at a different time. But today, I want to mention the ones that were brought up by the spokeswoman from "Sesame Street". The very important skills like:

1. Attention
2. Cooperation
3. Being part of a group-- sharing, telling the truth and keeping our hands to ourselves.
4. Self Control
5. The importance of being a good friend and accepting differences in others
6. Turn taking
And so many more....

We sometimes focus so much on the "educational skills" that we forget how important all these other skills are for forming the foundation for higher level learning and executive functioning. The next time you're picking out an activity with your child, perhaps pick one where cooperation and working together matters. Something as simple as saving a large box and inviting a friend over to turn it into a castle, house or dinosaur cave can work on so many skills that get your child ready for leadership and success. They'll have to work together to decide on colors and how they want it to look. They'll have to listen to their friends ideas and learn about compromise and respecting others. And in the end, they'll see that having many ideas helps create something very special.

Have fun and enjoy your weekend! It's supposed to be beautiful here so I'm heading out to walk my dog!