Here's a tip to get your preschooler ready to listen, learn and follow directions! 

Did you know that "heavy work" activities such as pushing, pulling and carrying can help get your child ready to attend?

A child should be able to pay attention to a rote task, or a task not of his own choosing, for 3-5 minutes for every year of age. So, if he is 4 years old, he should be able to attend for 12-15 minutes. 

Why not have your child do some "heavy work" like helping to put away the groceries, before doing a seated activity.

Perspective

It’s another sleep deprived morning.  I am still not used to the early morning wake up call to get my ninth grader to the bus leaving the house at an ungodly hour.  It’s only week three,  I’m still hoping for a carpool or just maybe, I can get used to this routine…we’ll see….I can’t complain to my daughter who feels her job as a student is far tougher than my cushy job “playing” with kids all day as a therapist.  Maybe she’s right.  I do have probably the best job in the world.  But, we can talk therapy on another  day.

Today I am thinking about perspective.  What do we really want for our kids?  Raising toddlers and preschoolers is one thing, but having a teen never ceases to be a humbling experience.  This teen stuff is completely uncharted territory for me.  As parents of young children we focus so much on the skills our children need to succeed in school.  Parents of teens still care about school success, but the stakes keep getting higher as we try to guide them for success in life.  Did I say guide?  That term may be a stretch, because teens don’t really like to be guided, because after all they know better.  At least I think this is true, it couldn’t just be me, could it?  Make that self-doubt with a little paranoia thrown in…

So, I worry.  Not really for any good reason.  But, because that is something I am really good at.

And, then a baby comes over the house for a visit.  My daughter goes over to the baby and is just so sweet with her.  That’s the daughter I know, sweet and loving.  The baby proves that sweetness and loving is still there.

And then, never being one to not have a sense of humor, she says to me, repeating a website she had recently seen:

“No Matter how old your are, no matter how badass you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it”.

Yup, that’s what it’s about.  

Going Beyond the ABC's for School Readiness

I had a few extra minutes this morning (thank goodness!) and sat down to drink my coffee in front of the TV. What a luxury! I'm usually one to go straight to my recordings, my ADD kicks in with all those commercials, but today I decided to watch Good Morning America. Cookie monster was on the screen and they were talking about the next season of "Sesame Street". At first, I was attracted to the familiarity of cookie monster, but then the content was really interesting and like always, it brought me back to Tips and Toys.

As per usual, I tuned in just as the segment was coming to an end. The spokeswoman was talking about how important the skills gained from watching "Sesame Street" are for school readiness. So what do we need for school readiness? If my child knows his ABC's, is he ready? Should she be able to count to 10? I heard my friends kid was already reading some words, is my kid behind because he's not doing that? He doesn't hold his pencil right. Should he be able to write his name? All these and so many more questions run through parents minds every day. And yes, these questions are very important and ones that I will talk about at a different time. But today, I want to mention the ones that were brought up by the spokeswoman from "Sesame Street". The very important skills like:

1. Attention
2. Cooperation
3. Being part of a group-- sharing, telling the truth and keeping our hands to ourselves.
4. Self Control
5. The importance of being a good friend and accepting differences in others
6. Turn taking
And so many more....

We sometimes focus so much on the "educational skills" that we forget how important all these other skills are for forming the foundation for higher level learning and executive functioning. The next time you're picking out an activity with your child, perhaps pick one where cooperation and working together matters. Something as simple as saving a large box and inviting a friend over to turn it into a castle, house or dinosaur cave can work on so many skills that get your child ready for leadership and success. They'll have to work together to decide on colors and how they want it to look. They'll have to listen to their friends ideas and learn about compromise and respecting others. And in the end, they'll see that having many ideas helps create something very special.

Have fun and enjoy your weekend! It's supposed to be beautiful here so I'm heading out to walk my dog!

What’s the best way to help my child develop her play skills?

The best way to help your child develop play skills is to play with her every day and introduce a variety of toys that tap into all areas of development. She won’t like them all equally, but with your help, she’ll be more likely to try just one more time. If you keep play-time short and fun, you can bet she will learn more skills playing with you than she ever would on her own.

Why can my daughter can sit and watch tv or play on a tablet for hours but is bored as soon as she’s unplugged?

You are not alone. All the bells and whistles on a tablet or computer capture a child’s attention. She just has to sit passively and the tv or computer game will do most of the work.

Old-fashioned, battery-free play requires different skills. For example, building with blocks, playing dress-up, and fingerpainting are help children use their imagination, build make-believe worlds, and create something original

Is technology bad for my child?

No, technology is not inherently bad for your child, especially if she’s over age 2. But like most things, technology is best appreciated in moderation. Unplugged, hands-on toys teach skills that computers and tablets don’t. Blocks and dress-up toys require a little extra oomph of effort on the child’s part. They tap into creativity and imagination in a way that most technology doesn’t. 

Water Play Ideas

Summer is a great time for water play. While it's not always possible to get to a lake or a pool, there are still lots of ways you can use water play for learning.

If you're stuck inside on a rainy day, mix up a small amount of dishwashing detergent in a shallow basin. Make a lot of suds and then pour off the water so only the bubbles are left. Depending on your child's age and interests (she should be old enough to not eat the bubbles), she can stand on a chair at the sink (with supervision) and wash utensils, plastic plates, glasses, etc. Or she can sit on the floor and wash a doll or other water-safe toys.

If you can get outside, a small pail of water and a clean furniture paint brush are lots of fun to use to paint the side of the house or the sidewalk. You will probably need to refill the pail regularly.

If you have a hose, you can turn it on low and let your child fill buckets, water the lawn or anything else within reach.

Of course, water activities mean your child will likely get wet all over -- but that's part of the fun.

These activities are wonderful ways to build language skills by talking about the items being washed or making up a story about the doll taking a bath.

The paint brush and bucket are fun ways to build fine motor skills. Did you know that lines and circles are the building blocks for later writing skills?

Enjoy the summer with your children!

How long should my child be able to play by himself?

Every child is different and the length of time kids can amuse themselves depends a lot on their interest in a particular toy or activity.  Usually, the younger the child, the shorter the time he or she will play independently. For a three-year-old, 5 – 10 minutes may be a long time. For a 5 year old, 15 – 30 minutes might not be unreasonable, if the activity is motivating.